just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need a beard to bite.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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