Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
