it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How does one acquire holy water?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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