I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
