i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
