All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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