Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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