You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize