Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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