Pants 0. Shit 1.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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