A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize