Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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