It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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