I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We had to coat check the pizza.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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