I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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