Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
worst night to have a conscience
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
