Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
do nipples grow back?
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