Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
