great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
