why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
