ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's never too late to be topless.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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