Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
