yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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