My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
