I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
birth control should be required to get into college
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
