the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
