uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
