I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
