I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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