I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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