Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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