You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize