Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
