# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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