I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize