Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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