Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
