I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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