let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
