WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
