Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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