Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
