I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
