How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
