Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
