i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize