I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
