Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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