Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
