She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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