guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
