I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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