My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
