i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
