glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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