I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
