Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
