You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
