I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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