Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
