I want to have your abortion
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
