i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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