You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize