now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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