lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm having to shit out rocks
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
